I discovered I was wrong about myself when I said ‘ I am not a perfectionist.’ Well everybody I knew said they weren’t too. But did we not knew the definition of ‘Perfectionism’?
What are the traits of a Perfectionist?
What I learned about perfectionists is that they avoid actions and indulge into procastination (for example going on netflix, hanging on social media,etc) for the fear of being challenged, for the fear of being judged ,for not being smart as they are,to avoid boredom, etc.
Other traits of the Perfectionists are overthinking and over planning eg: if you want to start something then you do not initiate because you just stay in planning zone (which becomes a procastination).
This one actually blew my mind! — Perfectionists scare to put effort because they believe that everything should come natural like : not puting enough effort to study because perfectionists believe that there is this ‘ natural smart’ which they believe or society has seeded into them.
Another sign of a perfectionist is – the ‘All or nothing mindset’. Like you do things perfectly or nothing at all. Eg your eating habit: If you are on a diet , you eat clean on Sunday and accidently happen to eat junks on Monday. You eat crap for the whole week just to start over from next week.
Also staying in indecision is another sign of a perfectionist.Think of picking up outfit for the day. It’s so draining, right? There are few other traits like: fear of outshining others, people pleasing ,etc.
While reading the signs of the Perfectionists back then, I declared I was a Perfectionist and thought I should be in the process of getting out of my own way. Studying these, chances are most of us are perfectionists in some ways. I don’t mean to label perfectionism as a negative term but in someway perfectionism does make us stay away from doing the things we are suppose to do.
While the truth is once we are perfectionists, there could be chances to fall back into the same pit again. So to progress as a perfectionist , here are some of my ways I deal with perfectionism.
How to progress being a perfectionist?
As a perfectionist, we often fear the waste of effort and do not even try. We limit to the things we are smart at and things we are good at because we feel fear of failure and shame that brings. We place such high standards for yourselves that we often refuse to even start that task which leads to waiting that perfect moment when we are actually ready- often time it never comes.
So here are some of three ways I get out of own way as a perfectionist since I discovered this topic back around one year ago:
1. Do not seek for the result but just go on the process. Eg: the goal is to workout 5 times a week rather than looking a certain way; the goal is to eat healthy at least once in the lunchtime instead of thinking of not eating junk; the goal is to read two pages a day rather than finishing the book in a certain time.
2. Whenever a day is missed(to run, to read, to work on that important project), just tell that It is a ‘break day’ and tell yourself that ‘I’ll start tomorrow’.
3.Set a small amount of time to start rather than prepare for long sessions like if you are studying… say to yourself that you will read up to 15 minutes and then often I keep on studying as it sets up a sort of intention on my head. The goal is to focus.
Hope you find it helpful!
Thank you for reading!