So you are interested to start enjoying some of your hard habits?
Let me just say you upfront- you don’t want to even try to stick to any sort of habit and you are searching here to find the ways to enjoy hard habits. Then sorry this post isn’t for you.
I’m a huge believer in working things out rather than making excuses. Especially things that are in our control. And if you ask me about the ways to enjoy hard habits. Yes, it’s possible. Only if you let it be.
I’m not just saying this just for the sake of saying it. I seriously used to have questions like you. How could someone do such tedious tasks with ease? Let’s assume! They’ve got different circumstances than yours? Maybe. But you know what it first comes out from our thoughts. Yes, I cannot emphasize more on how our actions are determined by our thoughts. And it’s the single most powerful thing that could be life-changing. Just try shifting your thoughts.
Having an all or nothing mindset shows up in many instances like doing a certain task or nothing at all. Either you workout or not work out at all. You eat a packet of chips or nothing at all. You create a video or nothing at all. We love all or nothing thinking because there is no ambiguity. We do not like to stay in resistance.
You see, the concept of an all-or-nothing mindset exerts from a belief. A belief that effort is marked as inadequacy. For instance, if you put an effort to study more for your exams you mean it as having the lack. We are praised for talents rather than praised for the effort, therefore, putting effort into something means you lack talent. However, people with a growth mindset do not mind putting effort.
Having all-or-nothing thinking is also more like you starting something (like eating healthy, working out, etc ) at the very beginning of a week and you somehow mess it up in the middle, you would want to start over only from the next week. If you have experienced that you start something from the middle, you feel like not putting an effort into it just because you feel like you’ve lost the track. So, instead, you feel like quitting and starting over again. However, the situation may vary, there might be chances that you would take more time to start over only because it’s more crippling to think about the time and energy needed to start over. Instead, you remain in this vicious cycle of starting-but-not- yet-finished loop.
You see, having an all-or-nothing mindset is one of the traits of a perfectionist. We start things but we do not finish things. If we ruined the perfect routine, we are too vulnerable to put an effort because it wouldn’t create the same result. Like: I had this all-or-nothing mindset regarding my fitness journey. I had this steady consistency in my workout routine. However, I missed a few weeks due to travel. This created a situation to put off my workout. You know when you have been out of that streaks and you are not willing to get back into your routine. Just because you have missed those streaks.
Also, a similar example can be put into your work. If you have a deadline for a report to finish and you get caught up in meetings mostly. Instead of dwelling on the time spent on meetings, you could utilize the remaining time on your report. What all or nothing mindset does is it simply chooses to skip the opportunity if it doesn’t serve you to at it’s best. So, in this case, if there is no full time for the report, then the chunks of time don’t work. This is totally untrue.
Also, the language we speak brings that all-or-nothing tendency within ourselves. Like: we create this black and white opinion on our actions. For example: when we eat healthily, you’d say you had a good day and on the contrary, if you eat something you didn’t plan, you mark your day as crap. There are various words we use that put out our all-or-nothing mindset such as consistent or inconsistent, all of the time or non of the time, good or bad, always or never, etc.
The all-or-nothing mindset leaves to disallow us to do things fully. We do it half done because we have this fear that if we do it fully we might disappoint ourselves. Also, when you miss in the middle, we often consider that we are inconsistent. Actually, the definition of consistency needs to be there. Our brain tries to match our world with our current beliefs. It tries to eliminate that it feels like off the line.
Also, the way you talk to yourself matters. If you keep on telling yourself, ‘ I’m not the kind of person who starts from the middle.’ You are making that belief into reality.
That’s all for today.
Let me what is your take on this. Is your all-or-nothing mindset holding you back?
Who likes a day full of hassle right? Definitely not me, if the hassle costs your full energy at its best.
You see the thing is, no matter how simple we try to make things in our favour in terms of our work and our daily priorities, the things don’t go according to our plan sometimes. Even though we hate having this situation everyday, we put ourselves into that very slump again for the next day. Either we are there helplessly thinking someone/something would rescue us or we act as a superhuman who presents to survive from the tough day although feeling deeply uncomfortable inside. And then the same thing repeats on the loop.
Although we feel miserable for having such a situation, we don’t take action. Not taking action is a form of procrastination and perfectionists love to delay. It is either because they fear that they could not live up to the highest expectation they’ve created or they think the hardest ways are better.
Anyway, a well sorted day is definitely easy and manageable for anyone. There are different things going in our life. Here are some ways you can simplify your day.
“The more you try to do, the less you actually accomplish.” , Chris McChesney
Planning removes choices from the equation of the additional tasks you have to do. You will get that, the planned time intensifies your level of focus.
While planning is almost everyone’s forte , the question remains- Are we planning according to our need ?How do we know that? Can we do the multiple tasks as efficiently as the successful people doing in their day? The answer is a ‘yes’ if you are planning your day correctly.
So, amidst the concept that multiple tasking in a day is possible, the contrary – Multitasking at once is also possible. We hear people bragging about multitasking. I used to do that too which I thought was one of my expertise. However, research has shown that , often, human beings are not good at multitasking. Task-switching is inefficient. Just to be clear, I am here talking about the difference between doing multiple things in a day and doing multiple things at once(or task-switching).
To avoid this interruption due to multi-tasking, one thing that has helped me is batch working.
Usually deadline keeps us in track and gives us that finish line which otherwise would have been vague.
For me, deadlines are a must especially while working on time-consuming projects.
A lack of deadline brings me a sort of blurriness in the time duration I need to finish something. It is not only about not finishing the work in the given time. Sometimes, due to the lack of deadlines, I happen to not give ample and equal amount of time to some of the important tasks too. To sum up,due to not having deadlines, the time duration for the each tasks doesn’t balence.
Sometimes, even though we all know that the ultimate way to do something is by start taking action, we don’t do that. We also know that sometimes we aren’t inclined towards taking action due to procrastination.
Situations cannot be ignored, where you dread until the last-minute of any task and finally finish with all the reserved energy. Till you burn out? Also, no shame in admitting, I used to start the tasks more early just to avoid burnout. And also, avoid it getting finalized until last-minute of urgency. However, I also figured out the ways out of it. Often it has to do much with both the inner-self as well as outer circumstances. I’ve written a separate post on How to progress as a perfectionist Here.
By reading that, you’ll find out that perfectionists are often dealing with their upper limit. This is good in one perspective as it makes them a better person. However, on the other side, this belief cripples a person’s ability to stand up and root themselves to be a master of procrastination. This might be among the many reasons why perfectionists tend to stay stagnant although they upscale their journey.
Let’s admit, We all know how to save. Even if we are whining about our expenses with our friend, chances are we know exactly where you need to work on. Either we are just not trying or too scared to admit that we can save. Also, as perfectionists this ‘all or nothing mindset’ cripples in. Remember when you spend your money on something you didn’t plan and you let your remaining budget flow just because you spent that money. This is how perfectionists think, just because once their plan gets disrupted, they traditionally think of beginning the plan all over next time.